one year anniversary

A year ago our sweet pup Finn joined our family.

He is the perfect fifth child.

He keeps me walking every day, per his persistent pawing at my workout clothes and bringing me my sneakers.

He always keeps an eye on the kids, a trusty little nanny dog.

He is especially fond of his twin-soul, Major.  The two are quite a pair, adding so much sweetness to my life.

He is so goofy and full of personality and is the most snuggly, affectionate dog I’ve ever had.

He sleeps at my feet, and just as the sun comes up he sneaks his way to my pillow for morning cuddles.  The kids find us, and pile in and I know he is the happiest dog in the world.

We love him dearly.

May you always know how loved you are, Finny Boy.  You’re forever a part of our family.

Comments { 0 }

grace

It’s 1:18pm.

My house is quiet and kidless (besides that napping baby) for the first time in nearly two weeks.  This may be the first time I’ve been by myself with my own thoughts for as long.

Sometimes I think of the constant and endless strain on me as a mother, and sometimes that overwhelm nearly swallows me up.  I felt that way yesterday afternoon.  That I didn’t have one more ounce of myself to give, but still hours left in the day to do so.  I found myself finding patience the next time Grae asked for her 2,304th request of the day, I graciously gave to her what she asked even though I didn’t feel like I could.

 Grace.

I find this place in motherhood often, where God’s grace sustains me further than my imperfect human body can go.  When I feel like shouting at the kids to leave me alone, but instead sigh and say “What baby? Another snack?  You bet.” walking my tired body back to the pantry and delivering the smallest detail of the world to one of my children.

“I love you, mom. You’re the best.” Grae says back.

Grace.

Fills me up and readies me for the next task motherhood will toss my way.

Grace.

As a mother, I take my days in sections, the morning time, lunch and afternoon section, the bewitching hour (that seems to last the majority of the day even though it is only found between 4-6pm), and finally, dinner and bedtime.

In tougher circumstances, like when my babies are learning to sleep by themselves, or the post partum depression is raging, or the day took a turn for the crazy.. I even take them minute by minute to get me through.  So far I’ve had a 100% chance of making it.

Grace.

Motherhood for me has been the biggest example of God’s loving grace, motherhood is basically “God’s grace for dummies“.  I’ve always noticed His grace, and perhaps taken it for granted.  But it’s been on my mind, and I seem to have found a whole lot of it lately.

I am so grateful that the days or years or minutes I fall short, God is there to pull me through the rest.  I know this is true for every person willing to accept, and learn it.  People can be tricky, and thoughtless, and mean, and careless, and certainly imperfect.  But God never is.  God is constant, and good, and on my (and your) side.  Do you know that?  I mean really, really know it?

I do.

I hope you do, too.

 

Comments { 0 }

mothers day weekend 2018

On Saturday morning I thought long and hard about what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day weekend.

I couldn’t think of anything I’d love more than staying home, doing whatever the world I pleased, without having a single time obligation.

That is exactly what I needed and wanted for Mother’s Day, and that’s exactly what I got.

After staying in my house dress for most of the day, making food for my family, getting to have an extra boy in my house (nephew Tage) to feed and love, we moseyed out on the town for some dinner.  Because I again wanted to give ZERO energy… we drove through to get the kids McDonalds and called in my favorite (Mad Pita – which Grae calls “Mada-Pita” so naturally we all call it that, too) and ate it in the car.

Then we headed to the nursery to pick up some flowers.  I requested flowers for my porch instead of my table this year, so everyone picked out a favorite for my pot and we came home and planted them.  Summer is my very favorite, and days like this are exactly why.

 

And then Sunday was a whole other story.  You win some, you lose some.  The first holidays without my sweet sis will sting a bit more than the rest, I guess.  Ang always made a deal about doing something fun on Mother’s Day, it made me miss her terribly.  But like everything else, where there is darkness there is also light.  I made a yummy batch of chili for my own little family, we delivered flowers to Angie’s grave.  I held my babies extra long at bedtime and went to bed with a full, albeit aching, heart.

I am so grateful for this good life I live, and so grateful to be able to celebrate so many amazing women in my life on mother’s day, including our own dear mothers who are loving grandmothers to our sweet babes.  I have a team of mothers (and not-yet mothers who bless me my children with their mothering natures anyway) that rally behind me and make it possible to live my life at the capacity I do.

I am also especially grateful that when I started this blog at the tippy tippy top of my mothering journey, you sweet women have checked in with me along the way, have written me, connected with me over motherhood, miscarriages, longing for children, having lost children.  We have prayed for each other, and your love has carried me through more than you’ll ever realize, and has helped me to fully embrace my own motherhood.  Thank you for loving and supporting me, and letting me share my heart with you over the years.

Happy Mothers Day to you from us here at Miller & Co!

 

Comments { 1 }

simple joys | backyard

Whether we lived in our 900 sq foot condo and had only a backyard porch,

Our little 2 bedroom rental with just a little patch of grass,

Our old rental downtown with a big, old yard and room to roam,

Our first home we could really make ours, and poured our heart into a backyard that was ours,

And now dreaming up a new space for the next years of our lives to unfold….

watching our babies play in our backyard is one of the simplest joys of my life.  No matter what our backyard looks like.

 

Comments { 1 }