During my pregnancy, I had it in my mind that I would at least make it to my due date.  I have found being mentally prepared for going overdue has helped in the past, so I didn’t let my mind think about the possibility of going early.

Just like I had predicted, I woke up on my due date, still very very pregnant.  This pregnancy had been quite an uncomfortable one – I was carrying this one straight out in front which was wreaking havoc on my back, ribs, and hips.  I had sciatica pain, and horrible rib pain.  I had tried to be patient, but I couldn’t deny that I was absolutely miserable – and huge – at this point.  I was getting little to no sleep at all, and prodromal labor had started like it does for me.  Contractions picking up and getting consistent just long enough for me to get my hopes up before they would die off again.  This mind game mixed with my physical misery had begun to feel like torture.  I had my midwife’s appointment that day and didn’t bother getting checked for dilation.. I knew I would be way too disappointed if I wasn’t progressing and I didn’t want to add that to my plate of misery.

The next day, Mr. Miller took me out on a date – our usual weekly occasion.  We went to one of our favorites and had a delicious meal hoping it would be my last pregnant meal.  Brady was so sweet to me that night and helped me hobble across the street to the car while my sciatic nerve was flaring up.  He took me for a drink and then for a drive, which is one of my favorite things to do.  We talked about how crazy we were for not finding out what we were having and the possibilities for each.  We chatted about some final name ideas – Major or Harris for a boy and we were still between a few for girls.. Luca, Arden and Ever.  We talked about how crazy and amazing it was to be having our fourth baby and I wondered if we would have more, or if this would be my last.  It was just the kind of night I needed to lift my spirits and get me through the next few days.  

That night I had quite a bit of contractions starting at midnight and lasting til about 3:30, and sadly, I dozed off and woke up again still pregnant at 6.  I woke up on Thursday feeling like I would certainly be pregnant forever.  My friend had recently gone 19 days overdue, and I got depressed at that mere possibility.

By Friday, I decided I would not be leaving my house again.  I stayed in comfy clothes, tidied up my house, ordered pizza for supper and arranged a family movie night.  I had some contractions start around dinner, but that was typical for this time of night.  My dad text me to ask if I could help him with something or other on the computer and I text back and said “not tonight, dad, I’m going to stay home and hope labor starts and I don’t want anyone over.” ha! He’s a good man, and text me back “Totally get it! Good luck!” I sat on my birth ball through the movie and welcomed each and every contraction that came.  My girls were cuddled up to Brady on the couch and my heart was overwhelmed with love for my little growing family.  It was a perfect night to have a baby, I thought, but even if I didn’t, I was still the luckiest mama in the world.