What will I say to my girls?
This is a question I have been asking myself over the last week as our country goes through a confusing transition. There have been issues brought to light for me that I haven’t seen before, and I think it’s important to clarify some things. So, to my sweet girls:
I realize that now more than ever, I must show you how I value myself as a woman. Even (and especially) when the world doesn’t value me the same way. I will teach you that the standard of respect I expect is far far more than the standard this country, and this world has set. I will show you how I expect to be treated by my husband, my equal partner, and I’m grateful that he is able to show you that he values me and my worth over anything else in this world. I will also show you that I do not feel “less than” in my marriage, in my position in our family, in my life. Ever. I am the lucky one, my precious girls. You’ll see.
I will show you the value I place on motherhood. That I believe with every ounce of my being that the greatest work I will ever, ever do is my work as a mother. That choosing motherhood is not the lesser choice – ever. That the value of what I do is not based on a dollar sign. That at the end of the day (listen closely), it’s an overflowing heart that matters, not an overflowing bank account. As I show you my love for motherhood and the purpose I feel in the everyday tasks, I will also show you that I am still a girl inside here, with big dreams. I will follow them. I will stumble sometimes, I will succeed sometimes, I will be shocked and surprised and frustrated and thrilled at times, and I will roll with those punches, my daughters, because life is as colorful as it is wonderful and I will not be afraid to feel all the feelings as I do what I love. I will lead you to follow your dreams, to chase after that pull in your hearts, no matter what it is. Did you hear that, my girls? NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. You do not have to love all the same things I love, you do not have to feel the same things I feel. That is the trick, sisters. To chase after that thing that pulls you, that thing inside that God created that is only yours. That is your purpose, and if you can still feel that, you are doing it right.
I will lead by love, and that does not exclude loving myself. I will prioritize myself. I will honor my body, my values, my talents, my mind. I will take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No one will do that for me, my sweeties. We must figure out how to do that ourselves. “Life loves the liver of it”, my darlings, have you heard that? I will live and I will love and I will serve and I will be happy. The world is very confused about what it means to be happy, but I’m not. It is possible, and I will show you each day as I make that choice, so you know. Most of all, my precious girls, I will follow God – and I don’t mean that “mystical being” there are so many questions and arguments about – I mean the real God, The One who created us, The One who has an infinite amount of time for our thoughts, worries, needs. The One who knows our hearts and fears and hopes. The One who will walk us through every single trial and make us better for it. If you never lose sight of God, my darling daughters, you will be okay. Actually, so much more than okay.
I am not whatever the world wants me to be. It’s important that you know that, my sweet girls. Neither are you. That’s not the way you came, and that’s not what you’re supposed to be. So do the hard thing, ask the tough questions, stand up for what you believe in, trust yourself. I trust you. I am on your side, always. Did you hear me? That part is important. I am on your side today, tomorrow, and every single day after that, too.
Be confident, my lovies. You are already greater than you could ever know. Don’t you forget that.