I have found during my pregnancy how the Lord has blessed me with friends and people who truly love me.

Twice I have had friends stop by in the morning, before I’ve even had a chance to put a bra on, and sit with me on my couch and talk about my favorite things: family, spirituality, life and purpose.

Yesterday was one of those days.  A dear friend dropped by unannounced and we chatted for a good hour before our busy lives as mothers tore us apart.  We talked about the Gospel and how it has changed our lives, we talked about choosing to be good mothers.  We talked about prayer and the ways we see God working in the details.  It was a conversation I needed to have that morning.

Do any of you watch Real Housewives of OC? It’s my (very) guilty pleasure.  I have especially loved that this year Tamera has found Jesus and I enjoyed very much watching her be baptized on the season finale (ha) — before the cat fight ensued (double ha).  But real talk for a second.  Tamera said the words, “My mess will now be my message.” and I found this to be profound.

Don’t we all have a mess?  Some of us are living in it right now, and soon – in His time, and if we let Him – God will be turning that into our Message.  I have found myself this year to be more grateful for the mess of my life before my message started surfacing.  I love sharing on this space about my interests and hobbies and documenting my family, but mostly I hope that it is apparent that my mess IS now my message.  That message becomes more apparent every single day.

I grew up in a very non traditional setting.  I made a lot of tough choices when I was a teenager and young adult.  I’ve had lousy friends and have been treated poorly by guys I’ve dated.  I’ve worked harder than should have been necessary, and been so so confused about life.  I’ve found myself in some very dark places.  Some lasting for years of my life.  I come from complete and utter chaos.  But somewhere along the lines.  I found God.  I found light.  I found peace.  I found happiness and fulfillment.  My life is immeasurably different than it was before.  It’s like I’ve lived two opposite lives.  I am different than I used to be.  I had the power to change – we all do.

I hope that my message is one of hope to even the most hopeless (because I have been there).  I hope my message is one of God, who was with me all along – especially when I didn’t believe it.  I hope my message is one of inspiration, because I know that we can create our own happy lives.