Sometimes I take little vacations from this place. Sometimes it’s intentional, and sometimes it’s not. I try not to get frustrated with myself when I am away from my computer for an entire week with no time to write or shoot or edit or plan. I tell myself that it is important to take time away from my “fake life” to be living my “real life”. (right now as I write this – my first time to write all week – “someone” is asking me to come help with something or other…)
I would like to write more, and I get anxiety when so many events happen and I don’t find the time to come jot down the little moments and the big moments. I have embraced this season, though. For me, this season comes with little time for myself, my projects and my work. Myself, my projects and my work are tied into other things, and I must say: more important things.
When I’m not blogging, I am getting my children fed breakfast, their hair done and outfits picked out, their homework tucked in backpacks, and buckled in before we head to school.
When I’m not blogging, I am unloading and loading the dishwasher for the first time of the day – I’ll do this one or two more times as the day goes on.
When I’m not blogging, I am sweeping my floors, wiping my counters, switching loads of laundry, vacuuming. All these things must be done each day.
When I’m not blogging, I am rocking my baby to sleep – while I think of so many heart bursting stories that are pouring from my mind as she drifts off into slumber in my arms for the first time of the day. – She’ll do this one or two more times as the day goes on.
When I’m not blogging, I am getting myself put together for the day – a cute outfit, fresh makeup, tossing my hair into some sort of a style. I do my best when I look my best.
When I’m not blogging, I am writing a few deep and personal posts that I hope I’ll have the courage to share, that sometimes get deleted (frustrating!!), that I always get pulled away from before I’m ready.
When I’m not blogging, I am walking to the bus stop to pick up a child, getting ready to drive to pick up the other.
When I’m not blogging, I am getting my baby up for a nap, wondering where that hour and thirty minutes went?
When I’m not blogging, I am fixing lunch for three Miller ladies, one Mr. Miller, and on better days, myself as well.
When I’m not blogging, I am signing school papers, assisting with homework, filling up cups and sweeping the floors (again).
When I’m not blogging, I am dressing up a tiny ballerina and shuttling her to dance class.
When I’m not blogging, I am dancing in the kitchen while I fix dinner. I am listening to Civil Wars, or You and Me or Madonna or Katy Perry (depends who my dancing partner(s) is).
When I’m not blogging, I am bathing my baby in the sink and thinking of more blog posts to write about how much I love being a woman and a mother and how I hope you all do too.
When I’m not blogging, I am kissing my husband home from work after a long hard day’s work (for us both).
When I’m not blogging, I am feeding my family a meal that my very two hands made (and usually 2-6 other hands helped with too.. but I made those hands as well.)
When I’m not blogging, I am sitting down for the first time of the day and listening to Mr. Miller tell me about funny things that happened today while he was at work.
When I’m not blogging, I am assisting Mr. Miller in bedtime shenanigans (shenanigans is right!) washing hair, brushing teeth, brushing hair, zipping jammies.
When I’m not blogging, I am nursing my baby and thinking of words I wish I could use to describe these moments in my life to do them justice.
When I’m not blogging, I am picking up my house again, thinking of how I need to sit down and write about how fulfilling nesting this little space of ours is. How much I love a quiet, clean home.
When I’m not blogging, I am exhausted from the day and I can’t think of a single productive thing I did all day. And then I remembered that I swept my floor 5 (or so) times, so I must have done something right.
When I’m not blogging, I am climbing into bed at a decent hour so I can wake up and do it again tomorrow, inspired to write about today and hoping I’ll get a minute to blog.
The work of a mother is the best kind of work, and my heart is wrapped deep into it. I have found more peace and fulfillment as I have stepped away from the outside world, and snuggled deeper into our little inside world. I have tried diligently to be less “busy”. I have taken a gamble taking time away from my busy photography business and my days of 5-7 a week postings to be home more, present more, available to my children more. When panic builds up inside of me that I am not doing enough, I quickly busy my hands with my work as a mother and I am put back to peace.
(Grae learning to sign “all done” after breakfast this morning)
It is hard sometimes to quiet the outside world so I can hear what God wants for my life. It’s hard hard work, but when I start doing it, I find that it isn’t all that hard at all. So be patient with me when I’m not blogging often enough. I am living a good life that will hopefully inspire me to bring me back to blog about it.
“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying.” (more on Mothers Who Know HERE)