I have a tender heart. I love fiercely and feel things deeply. I am especially loving in my life as a mother and sometimes it’s just too much for me to bear.
Harlo and I have a wonderful relationship. She was my first born and I have leaned on her these last 5 years. I knew she would be the head of my children and I quickly realized she was the perfect person for the job. She is so wonderful with her sister and to be giving her another sibling makes my heart sing. I know how much she is going to enjoy it.
Stella, though, has been my baby for the last three and a half years. She has been the best baby. What baby dreams are made of, really. She has relished in this role and our whole family has sincerely enjoyed her in this role. I know she’ll love having a baby sister, I really do, but the thought of her not being the baby of the house anymore has my heart breaking into a million pieces. Some days I feel at peace with it, knowing that these worries will seem silly to me in about 8 weeks when I meet our new precious girl. But sometimes I find myself wanting to push pause eternally and soak up every last memory of the life I have right now.
This year, my Harlo has been in preschool 3 days a week and I decided to keep Stella home for one more year. I know this year will go down as a special one with the one-on-one time I get with my little Stelly. I try really hard to keep that time open for her to do what she likes to do, which is usually always snuggling with me on the couch. Soon the baby will be here and it will be different, but I know at that time I wouldn’t change it back for anything in the world. Right now though, I’m just soaking up this season of life with everything I have.