(Oh how my heart will miss these moments when they’re gone)

Well, I’m officially down to the wire.  That wire could still be weeks away, but it could also be just days.
The funny thing about pregnancy is that I can never quite remember being this far along, even though I know I must have been at some point.  Scratch that – my memory flutters off somewhere around 26 weeks of pregnancy and then comes crashing back at  39 weeks pregnant with Stella when I considered seriously giving myself a c-section because I was so ready to have her earthside.  So, I do remember that.

However, I don’t feel like that at all this time (yet).  I feel like if I ignore the fact that it’s March, my baby will also have to ignore it and she can stay in until I’m ready for her.  We have a lot… and I mean A LOT going on right now and it stresses me out to be bringing her into such a time of transition for us. (I haven’t wanted to write much about this to jinx us, but I’ll be sharing more in it’s own post this week.) I feel so calm and peaceful with her on the inside.  I’m not sure I can wrap my head around what it will be like when she’s here and the uncertainty makes me anxious.

I decided to get on the ball, though and ordered my birth kit today.  That’s pretty much the last thing to do before D-day.  I am on week 3 of my 5 week formula and I can already feel it’s power taking affect.. specifically in the lactation department.

At our (weekly now) midwife appointment today, the little miss was head-down, heart rate 144 and my blood pressure was somewhere around 100/60.  Both of us are quite calm little souls.  I didn’t gain weight for my first week ever this pregnancy (ha!) and everything checks out just fine.  I have about 10 contractions a day.. a few will be strong and uncomfortable, but mostly just tight and hard to breathe through the squeezing.  My midwife heads out of town next week and fingers crossed I wont go as early as I did with Harlo, or I’ll be delivering with someone else.

Whether I’m ready or not, there is a bitter-sweetness hanging in the air around here.  I always tend to get a little melancholy toward the end of my pregnancy, but I think that’s mostly a part of my hormones and emotions heightening to prepare me for the love and connection I’ll feel for this baby. We’re in such a sweet chapter of life right now.  I wake up every morning with a 3 year old’s body wrapped around my 9 month round belly that starts wiggling and prodding at her sister on the outside.  I hit my bed exhausted each night before my husband puts our girls to bed and comes to check in with me emotionally about the day.  We have a hope and excitement filling our lives with the changes ahead, but it’s hard for me to think of anything I’ll love more than my life right now at this very minute.

37 weeks that went by so fast and so slow.  Pregnancy is a real trip, people.