“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.”

Mother’s day always gets me thinking about what an honor it is to actually be a mother. To me, it’s the most important job in our existence.  When my girls are grown, I want them to always know how privileged I feel to be their mom.

I loved being able to carry my children.  I thank God for that opportunity every single night.  While I didn’t enjoy every day of my pregnancies, I sure did enjoy them.  I felt like a Goddess when I was pregnant.  I felt like I was called to do the most important job in the universe, and I was.  Mr. Miller was always so loving and attentive and sensitive to me when I was pregnant with our girls.  I have so many fond memories in that time.  I often say that my pregnancy with Stella was the happiest time in my life.  My days were filled with studying birth and caring for my own vivacious one year old.  I attended regular birthing classes and midwife appointments with my husband.  I think we both felt the importance of that experience both for our marriage and for our lives personally.  I knew I was doing something greater than myself and serving a purpose I was meant to serve.  Brady understood and respected that and together we were able to bond on a level that was greater than we had ever imagined.  Harlo’s birth showed me there was more to me than I previously knew, there was a woman inside of me who was divine and great and worthy of such a calling.  Stella’s birth gave birth to that woman and I am forever grateful to my two girls for giving me that.  It’s just so miraculously calculated!  I had to be this woman to raise these girls, but I had to give birth to these girls to be this woman.  It’s what feeds my soul in knowing there is a God who knows us as individuals and has set out a plan for each of us.  

Me pregnant with Stella, one week shy of my due date, 10 days before giving birth.


I really, really loved nursing my girls.  I took such a pride in knowing my body came fully equipped to nourish my children.  I felt such a bond to my babies when we would sit for our regular nursing sessions.  I felt like (and still feel) that there is no greater feeling of being a mother than nursing your very own child.  When Harlo was a baby, I would sit and nurse her at any chance I got.  I loved laying in bed with her with nothing on the agenda for the day and I could sit in silence and listen to her little grunts and breathing patterns.  A year later, when Stella was born, I knew how sacred that time with her was.  I knew it’s what I was created to do and how fleeting that blessed responsibility was.  I loved nothing more than sitting in my chair with a toddler at my feet and a rolly, wiggly, sweet little baby at my breast.  I would sit and marvel at my daughters and thank my Father for giving them to me. But nursing did more for me than helping me bond with my babies.  I learned to love and appreciate my own body.  My body that was beautiful and capable of doing such wonderful things.  I no longer looked at my hips as a nuisance that never fit into anything properly, or my thighs as being too large, or that extra few rolls on my tummy as being “ugly”.  This was my body.  The body that carried the spirit of a loving woman, the body that my husband adored, the body that carried my children through the first second of their existence and nourished them through the first years of their lives.  The body that is capable of lifting, running, dancing, snuggling… How could I think such thoughts of such an amazing piece of God’s work?  And to this day as I see those stripes across my hips and thighs, those “ribbons” as my girls lovingly refer to them, I feel such pride that my body stretched beyond it’s limits to carry my children.  I love that have the scars to show off my capabilities as a woman.
I am still so grateful for that time I was able to nurse my children and so look forward to the opportunity to have more babies with Mr. Miller to rely on my motherly body.

Me nursing 8 month old Stella in our backyard on a beautiful spring afternoon.
Every single day I am thankful I get to be a mother.  I have good days and bad days, as do my children, but I love being a mom every day.  It’s the most exhilerating, exhausting, rewarding, stressful, exciting, challenging, enjoyful job I’ve ever had the pleasure of having.  I have learned so much about myself parenting my children.  They have taught me so much about life and love and faith.  Each day I love them more than I did the day before, and each day my love for their father grows as well.  It never ceases to amaze me!  The life that we live is a very simple one and never in my life have I been happier or more fulfilled. 
A recent photo of Harlo playing Candyland (or “handy man”) on the back porch with her daddy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the women in my life and the women who read this blog.  I hope you know how divine and beautiful you are!