After a little hiatus, I thought the best way to get back to bloggin’ is with a little SELF LOVE SEPTEMBER. This week, I am dedicating this space to self love, happier living, and all that entails!
Over the last couple of years, and also decade, and also my whole entire life, I have experienced some emotional trauma. For various reasons, a thousand different circumstances, choices, relationships, and a lot of dealing with whichever cards you’re dealt in a certain season of life. I have had no shortage of emotional baggage I have had to navigate through, as well as carrying it with me through this life, while I wife, mother, friend, daughter, etc. etc. etc.
At 20, I had miraculously pulled myself through the hardest years of my entire life, but even though I had made it to finally see the light on the other side, I was no where near out of the woods. That was the first time I really looked inside myself and realized that I wanted to change my life. Change the things that weren’t working, work on things inside myself, negative tendancies, unhealthy relationships, I wanted to work hard on loving myself because after the specific set of trials I had faced in my young life, I had a really hard time believing I was worthy of anything, and that included love.
I found a therapist, Lord bless him. He saw me every single week for years as I tried to make sense of all the pieces in my life and how they had lead me here, and how I could walk forward in light for my lovely, perfect, darling daughters. This work took time. It was hard, and emotional, and soul-stretching. It was life changing, and I am grateful for every hour I spent in that therapist office in those years and the impact it has made on my life.
A couple of years ago, I found myself in a bit of a “funk”, as one does. I knew that meant I had some work to do to clean up my life and some emotional stuff I had swirling around. After praying and thinking on that, I got a clear mantra to follow; Happier and Healthier. It was a guiding light for me as I navigated all aspects of my life. My relationships should be happier and healthier, I cannot be fully happy if I am not fully healthy. Things can make me happy, but not necessarily healthy (junk food), and things can make me healthy, but not necessarily happy (kale). The trick I saw was that making the decisions for health AND happiness had the real everlasting results. They may be the hardest to make stick sometimes, but they are worth striving for. And so, this became my life mantra.
Create a HEALTHY, HAPPY, beautiful life.
If there is one thing I have learned on this road to a happier, healthier life, it is that you are never just THERE. I mean, you are, but you always always have to work to maintain it. I can’t stay happy and healthy if I always just stay exactly where I am, so I must always be moving forward. I do not have a free pass to trials, struggles, tough relationships, everyday life problems, fears, insecurities, etc. I have to work through those things in the healthiest way I can, so I can maintain my happiness. A happy and healthy life takes work, but it is such good work. And it is always worth it.
This week I’ll be touching more specifics of this mantra like facing depression, spiritual crisis, and good old fashioned self care, body image, all that entails. This is a conversation I am starting here on the blog, and I hope we can keep the conversation rolling. We can all use a little more love from ourselves.
Have faith, mama. You are doing better than you think.