You guys, I am SO excited to finally be posting my first (of many, hopefully!) birth stories.

Over the years of having my blog, and sharing my stories of birthing and birth photography, I have been so inspired by other mothers writing me about their births, contacting me with questions on how to prepare, meeting up with me in town to discuss birth.  Birth is such a sweet part of my life, and I am so grateful for that blessing that has come from having this blog.

I knew that these stories needed to be told! So many wonderful and inspiring birth stories that can help other mothers, but had no platform to share.  I was a little hesitant in asking (a lot hesitant, actually) if I could spotlight these sweet birth stories, all of which are so personal and pure and deep, on my blog to my several thousand readers.  I am so so happy to say that these mothers are agreeing!  I know this will be a blessing to my life to have these stories as I prepare for my own birth, but I also know they will be a blessing to other mothers as well.

I will be posting births every Monday as part of a regular series on the blog.  Be sure to comment and share love and encouragement with these precious mamas as they open themselves up to all of us!  And if you have a birth story you would like me to share, please, please, please contact me at cassmillerphoto@gmail.com. I would LOVE to have you!

So today I am introducing my very first birth story in The Birth Series, and I must say, I picked an incredible birth to start with!  I am so so grateful for Mikell for sharing her story of welcoming Sienna Sweet into the world….

{SIENNA’S BIRTH STORY}

Let me start by saying my first birth did not go at all how I had envisioned or hoped. It was so much more.

Feb 14, 2015: More than two weeks past my estimated due date I was just starting to feel uncomfortable. Up until this point I felt so good! I absolutely loved being pregnant. I had so much energy, I felt so beautiful, and the crazy amount of love that pumped through my body knowing my little one was safe and sound inside me was my idea of heaven. This day was a bit different. I was anxious, didn’t sleep to well the night before, and the waddling was getting a little out of hand! I decided I was ready; I wanted to get things moving along. So we called my midwife and she met me at home to induce my labor by sweeping the membranes. First of all… why did no one tell me that this is crazy painful and leaves you feeling a little violated? Everyone talks about this being a totally routine procedure; I had no idea how it would make me feel! Can I just say I was so happy that I was in my own home, in my own room, and could stay there and have Seth hold me while I cried for an hour. I may be being a little dramatic, but still….

So after I pulled myself together, I said goodbye to my sweet midwife and we hoped for the best! A few hours went by and no action. So she recommended that I get a really good nap and a meal and then start to use a breast pump (20 minutes on 40 minutes off until contractions started). Immediately I started to contract!

We decided to not get too excited, so we sat down and turned on The Theory of Everything. I made it about halfway through the movie when the contractions started to get a little intense. I texted my midwife to let her know; she told me to relax, take a bath, and get some sleep. An hour later (11:30 pm) my contractions were 2 minutes long and about 5 minutes apart. We decided to call the doula and get the pool set up! My midwife came over around 12:30 am and we were all so excited about my progress! “You should be holding your sweet baby by the morning!” said Laura, my Midwife.

Feb 15, 2015: As I lay on the couch, in a state that I can’t even describe, I watched the sun rise over the Wasatch mountains through my living room window. I should mention, in preparation for a home birth, Seth and I took a Hypnobirthing class. I practiced daily for months! My hyponobirthing experience was completely out of this world! No really, I am not kidding! Seth recalls trying to look me in the eyes and with all sincerity said, “You left your body, you weren’t even there!” It really was magical. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically, but in between my enormous contractions, I would fade away in to some sort of ecstasy.

9:30 am: It’s now been about 12 hours since my labor first started. Everyone was exhausted. I was starting to get slightly discouraged. My midwife and I decided to check my dilation. I was at a 6. Not great. I should also mention that my sweet baby’s head was placed right on my sacrum (large bone at the base of your spine) and I’m pretty sure her head weighed 12987436 lbs. It was more painful to lie on my back and have her check my progress than it was to have my contractions.

As the day went on, there was not much progress with dilation, but my contractions were getting longer with less of a break between them. We decided to set up “stations” around the house to try and bring baby down and rupture my water sack. 1. My doula would ‘rebozo’ my belly

2. I would use a rope and squat in a doorway to push
3. I would climb up and down the stairs
4. As Seth sat on the counter, I would use his legs to balance myself as I kind of hung and let gravity pull the baby down
5. Get in the pool and push some more
6. Try to eat and drink
7. Pee
8. Repeat – this went on for hours.

8:30 pm: My midwife checked my dilation again. I recall being totally dramatic while she did this… she assured me I wasn’t. I’m pretty sure she lied. I was at about an 8. The problem at this point was that the water sack was ballooned down below my baby’s head. Laura told me that if we could rupture the water sack and turn baby’s head slightly, she could drop down and dilation would progress. There is no way I could lie on my back long enough for that to happen! So back in the pool I went for some relief. Seth jumped in the pool with me at this point. He helped me get back into a relaxed and hypnotized state. We chanted affirmations and visualized my baby being born. As I sat there and listened to Seth continue with the affirmations, I started running through my options. I was afraid of the option of transferring, because quite frankly, the hospital seemed so far away at this point! I really just wanted this to be over right now. I carefully thought out each option I had.

9:30 pm: I’m done. I haven’t eaten. I have nothing left to give. I’m done. As I sat on the toilet peeing with my midwife and doula right there working their counter pressure magic (all inhibitions out the window at this point) I told them to call the hospital, we were transferring. I think they were as relieved as I was. Seth on the other hand was hesitant about the decision. He was afraid that I wasn’t confident in myself, that my midwife had pressured me into this decision, and so on…. Bless his supportive heart. I almost murdered him when he handed me to the phone with Cassidy (my home birth hero) on the other line to have her give me some love and encouragement. You see, once I made the decision that I had given all I had to give and I needed some relief ASAP, my hypnotic state left the building! Every contraction came with a vengeance and I needed to get to the hospital stat! So my Mom… hold on, let me talk about my Mom real quick! She was by my side through this whole thing! There were times when I would be holding Seth’s hand through contractions and when I woke up from the trance, there my mom would be, with tears in her eyes, holding my hand. Mom, if you’re reading this, I promise to never put you through that again! I’ll call you after the baby gets here next time! Haha Back to the story… so my mom grabbed my folder with everything I would need for the hospital and all the instructions in case of a transfer. She grabbed my to-go bag, which wasn’t nearly as helpful as it should have been… in fact, it had nothing in it. I was afraid if I prepared too much for a transfer I would give in too easily! So we all pile in our car and my Mom drove as Seth and I were in the back seat and he was working the counter pressure through my contractions. Doula and Midwife caravanning behind. I cried and my Mom felt like the 8 minute drive to the hospital was an eternity. As we drove my contractions were really strong, and then all of the sudden, my body started to push! I couldn’t control anything. Then, I felt my water break. I thought to myself…. Of course, OF COURSE! I should’ve just stayed home! I’m going to have this baby in the backseat of my car!!!

10:00 pm: We check in to IMC Murray. The nurses checked me out; my water did not break, just ruptured slightly. They checked my fluid and it was clear. All good news!

11:00 pm: Hello Epidural. And THANK HEAVENS for my Hyponobirthing training! My contractions would pretty much send me through the roof, but when the Anesthesiologist came in, I turned on my hypo tracks in my head and went completely limp and relaxed while he administered the shot.  I was even surprised!

After I got comfortable, I sent my mom out for some snacks. I was famished! My mom came back with a banana and some Emergen-C. BEST MEAL EVER! The nurses were a bit put out when they walked in and saw I was clearly disobeying the rules. But I could’ve cared less.  So, then we all settled in for some much needed sleep. I slept like a baby, except for every hour when the nurse came in to turn me and check all my vitals…. I was grateful for any rest I got.

Feb 16, 2015 5:00 am: I’m up. I’m ready!! The nurses came in and we walked through everything that was about to happen. I was confident and knew what I wanted and how best to work with the staff on hand to accomplish it all. They were supportive and understanding of all my wishes.

7:00 am: The doctors came in to break my water. At this point there was a bit of meconium in my fluid. Of course, the staff was concerned at this point. But we talked and decided that if Sienna was aware and cried as soon as she was born, then they would not take her and she could come directly to me. Even if they had to take her, we all agreed that they would bring the equipment to me so that my baby and I could have the ever so important skin-to-skin and the umbilical cord could stay attached for as long as possible. IMC Murray was a great hospital that had an incredibly supportive staff.

8:00 am: Water is broken, I am fully dilated, and the pushing begins! Lucky for me, my midwife and doula were there and assisted in my whole birth. I pushed for 40 minutes.

8:42 am: Sienna is born!! She came out so full of life and love. We were able to have a full hour of uninterrupted skin-to-skin and I watched as my minutes old baby scooted herself down and latched to nurse. I was completely amazed and in love!

Although my birth didn’t look the way I thought it would, it taught me some of the most valuable lessons as a new mother.

1. I am incredibly strong; I can endure a Hell of a lot!
2. I am a confident mother; I know what is best for my baby. I trust my intuition and my education.
3. I can make informed decisions under a lot of pressure.
4. I can do absolutely anything after this!

Special Thanks to – Hiedi, Laura, and Melissa at Birth Journey Midwifery | Rachelle Davis – Pachamama Doula | Lauralyn Curtis – Hypnobirthing Utah | Katherine Loveless – Birth Photographer