I get comments and emails every once in a while by sweet mothers and women who have been inspired by something I’ve written about on my blog. For some reason, this always makes me feel like some sort of poser. Like my life should be perfect for someone to be inspired by me and my life is faaaaar from perfect. I always want to excuse these comments with “Oh, you should see the dishes that have been sitting in my sink for 3 days,” or “girlfriend, I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet today and it’s after 1pm!” or “Really? Because I just lost my patients and yelled at my kids for not cleaning their room the first (second, third) time I asked.” Somehow, the nice comments have become a source of internal guilt for me. But why? Why do I feel like I should be perfect in order for someone to pay me a compliment? I think this rings true in other areas of my life, as well.
This has gotten me thinking of ladies I am inspired by – so many! And what makes them inspirational to me? Is it because they seem perfect? I have found that it’s actually the opposite. They seem real. They inspire me because their life is beautifully flawed and they are doing it – every day! I am inspired by my sister-in-law who takes pride in her keeping her home organized while she hustles and bustles 4 children around everyday. I am inspired by mothers who choose joy in their day when it would be so easy to let the overwhelming tasks of motherhood take over. I am inspired by my best friend who is on a tight budget and is so creative with her lifestyle. I am inspired by people of my faith who are real about their struggles but continue to press forward with love in their heart and light in their paths. I want to be more like that. It’s in the flaws that I find inspiration, people working with what they have, people choosing happiness especially when it’s not the easiest thing to choose. It’s the realness that inspires me and to me, real does not equal perfect. I am inspired more by people showing their truths than hiding them.
So maybe I can be inspirational to someone, too. Maybe I can write about our life, some of the bad but mostly the good, because it really is so so good. Because I choose to see the goodness in my life. I choose to celebrate every day. I choose to love and be loved and share love in any way I can.
I have recently taken some time away from the outside world and really focus in on my little family here that I have. It’s been good for me to get a different perspective of things. Since I delivered Grae, I am learning so much about myself. I am really learning to love myself in a new way as I love and care for her. I say that every birth changes you and I am in the process of being changed right now, and I feel that. I have struggled sometimes finding the balance of life again, but I have really enjoyed that struggle too. I think that’s mostly what this blog is about, ya know? Enjoying the struggles and seeing past them, creating beauty in the every day, seeing moments as a mother as small miracles happening right before my eyes.
Maybe that is inspirational, and I’m learning to be okay with that.