Tag Archives | at the miller manor

Tag Archives | at the miller manor

Leaning into Faith

For a couple of months, Mr. Miller and I have felt a bit… restless.  I can’t explain it in any other way, just that there was a building up to a breaking point of sorts.  We started wondering if we were really doing what we were called to do here, and prayed for  God’s help in showing us.  Areas of our home life, work life, family life started shifting and we wondered what changes we needed to make that would be right FOR US.  So on one particularly tough Sunday, we prayed diligently, pleading with God to guide us to our next step, open to whatever that might be.

The next morning, a dear friend of ours approached us about buying our house.  Even though this was no where on our radar at the moment, we couldn’t help but feel how “coincidental” the timing was, and so we felt we at least had to hear the guy out, and explore our options.  As we stepped forward in faith, even though I really didn’t want to sell my house, I started seeing how wonderful of an opportunity this would be for my family.  The painful thoughts of leaving this dream home of mine faded with the peace and excitement of this opportunity.  I have come to know that God is the only way to feel peaceful, and where there is peace, there too, is God.  In the last decade of actively pursuing a relationship with God, I have let those same peaceful feelings guide me, and so I recognized that easily in this situation.

It is important for me to point out that God didn’t reveal what the whole plan was when this initial prompting of taking this opportunity happened.  This is where our faith really carried us.  We knew, and had faith, that if God provided us an opportunity as an answer to our prayers, He would lead the way.  So we continued in faith, even though we weren’t exactly sure where we would go once we moved from here.  We explored all of our options and kept moving forward until God would reveal to us our next step, having faith that He would.

In my own spiritual journey, a weakness I have is letting go of my own control.  God has to remind me of this ALL THE TIME, “I promise, I’ve got this Cass.  Go ahead and let go.” He whispers to my soul, and through white knuckles I try to ease my grip.  After years of practicing, I had the ultimate test when the day would come where I would have to sign the sellers contract on my sweet little cottage before knowing AT ALL where we were heading next.

We had seen multiple rentals, all of which fell through for one reason or another, we had friends offer us to stay at their homes, but with such an uncertain timeline that seemed hard to commit to… We had even reached the resolve that if worse came to worse, we would take this show on the road and live in our little trailer and travel for a few months until we sorted this all out.  I felt anxious and wrung up over every last option. (I also learned how DOWN I was for God’s plan, as I would have been willing to do any of these things had they felt right.)

So, on the last night it was possible, I signed the contract, making our sale official.  With not a single hint of what we would do next.  I pleaded with God what felt like that entire night, and felt a strong impression that help was on the way.  THE NEXT MORNING, my husband called from work asking if I could be ready in 20 minutes to go see the house I had coveted on the MLS site (knowing full-well I couldn’t buy it – we had planned to not even start with the home buying process until we could file our taxes which wouldn’t be for a few months, at least..  We had to be out of our home in 28 days.)  Brady told me he’d explain, and to get the kids ready.  Turns out, that morning’s meeting landed him with just the right person who would be connected to a real estate agent and a mortgage broker who worked mostly with business owners like us.  A call or two later, we were meeting the real estate agent at the dream house, and by that afternoon, we placed our offer.  Is your head spinning?  Let me say it again, that afternoon, we were placing an offer to buy the home I didn’t dare dream we could buy.  It was a spiritual trip to say the least.

Because the home buying process is never ever easy, I can’t say this process has been a breeze, or without it’s hiccups… but I can say that we have been guided every single step, and we have been 100% fine with whatever God had in mind for us – even if that meant facing our own disappointment for a time.  Of course, our God is one of grace and mercy.  Our suffering has been washed over with His peace time and time again when we’ve come up against trials in this process.

As I am writing, we are a couple of days away from closing on both homes, and we are still having to lean into faith over fear every single day.  There is still a chance things could fall through, and there is still a chance we’ll see another miracle in our lives come to completion.  I have faith in the latter, of course.

I will tell you that I don’t think I’ve ever had a time that was so apparent that God was working in our lives.  I mean, truly I would have never imagined this would be possible, and I hadn’t even dared dream beyond our home.  But God nudged me in the gentle, reassuring way only He does, and I am watching the next chapter of our lives unfold right before my very eyes.  How grateful I am to that hard time in my life ten years ago that lead me to God, that lead me to changing my life for His will that day and every day forward.  After ten years, I am still not over the miracles God has performed in my life and continues to perform in our lives. <3

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The Millers are Moving!

Well, I’m not sure how to write this all out, but in very short – we were given a sweet opportunity to sell our beloved downtown cottage we lovingly call “the Miller Manor”, and take a leap of faith as we find the NEXT Miller Manor.

You can’t imagine the heartache, prayers, tears, and time we have spent over this big decision for our family.  But the Lord is good, and He is guiding us as the opportunity unfolds.

For the first 7 years of our marriage, as a couple of new small business owners, it was impossible for us to qualify for a home loan, but it remained our hearts deepest desire.  All we wanted was a quaint little place we could call our own in those years (and years) of rentals.  We witnessed a small miracle happen in our financial life that year as we turned our worries to God, and our sweet little house fell into our lap.

It had been a childhood dream of mine to live in downtown St. George, to buy a little old house and fix it up.  As a young girl, my parents owned a quaint little beauty salon right in the heart of the city.  I grew up in that salon, ran around the grounds, and became dearly acquainted with all the business owners – most of whom still have businesses there today.  We would go for walks, and play in the tree-lined streets and as we drove home to our suburban neighborhood, I would pick my favorite houses up the block and day-dream about the life I would live there when I grew up.

How sweet it has been to see that dream come to life.

This house has been such a tender mercy for me, and even writing this makes me teary.  This house has been my dream come true, and I haven’t even dreamed beyond it.  I have felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have this precious place of safety, security, and so much joy.  A little house literally bursting with my own children and a happy, full, beautiful life.  I have not, and will not ever get over it.  This dream of mine was hard won, but worth it ten million times.

But this house wasn’t our forever house.  It was a house to wrap us up in a time we needed it, to provide us shelter from life’s storms for a season, and has provided us an opportunity to turn the page to the next chapter of our lives.  What a sweet gift this house has been.  I can’t say that enough.  This home will be cherished for the rest of my life, in some of our happiest of memories.

But for now, I am looking forward to the home waiting for us.  Because as I have been reminding myself, it’s not the manor that makes the Millers, it’s the Millers that make the manor.

*cue all the tears*

 

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Life Lately

Life lately is waking up to get kids off for school – oops! Late again… scolding myself on the way dropping off, “you should be more responsible!” “Being on time is mostly up to you!” “Set a freaking alarm, for crying out loud.  You are a 28 year old woman!” and then pep talking myself the whole way home, “You are doing the best you can.” “A few minutes late does not make you a terrible mother.” “We all have our strengths – your kids are not questioning your love for them today.” Woooo…  being a full time mama is an emotional roller coaster.

It’s coming home to freshly awake and groggy toddlers in my kitchen.  It’s snuggling while he drinks his “baba”, and tickling her back under her nightgown.  It’s changing diapers and changing clothes – SOOOO many clothes, I did not realize motherhood would basically be changing kids, finding shoes, and doing laundry.  That makes up the majority, bless my ever loving heart.

It’s being in the moment whenever possible.  How fleeting I see these days passing now.  Harlo is closer to being a teenager than a baby now, my goodness how quickly that passed.  I thrive on going for walks with my babies in the stroller, dog to my side.  I can take in my days and process my life in such a quiet, happy way.  My stroller has had a broken front tire for two weeks now and I am feeeeeling it physically, but mentally as well.  I have come to rely on those moments of groundedness in my day.  Time seems a little slower on my walks. Prioritizing those times for myself is necessary.

It’s taking a second for myself while the baby naps – the longer into this motherhood journey I venture, the less time for myself I find.  Balancing work, house work, relationships, downtime is becoming nearly impossible, but I’m embracing the way they crash all together at once, I guess.  Swirling around me in a beautiful string of life.  Realizing that life rolls in seasons, and what doesn’t make the cut this season can have some time in the next.

It’s sitting on the porch as the sun tucks behind our house, squealing with the babies when the bus rounds our corner.  Hearing all the things while I figure out supper, and sitting with a full heart at the dinner table with my entire family of six.  Finding more of myself as one of “the moms” and being completely content with whatever that means.  This is a good and bustling season.

Life lately has been relying completely on faith.  We have made some big decisions this year, and as we have prayerfully prepared for each one, we have felt guided and peaceful about the ones we’ve made, even when we’ve felt torn.  Grateful to be celebrating 10 years in faith this month.  What a decade it’s been.  My heart is overflowing recounting how my life has changed as I’ve built a relationship with God. Asking for grace, extending myself grace, and finding all the grace I can spread around the family, because the Good Lord knows we need it.  Where we fall short, there His Grace will be.

Good to be back, dear friends.  I love coming back here after some time away.  It’s like slipping on my favorite pair of jeans after being pregnant for 9 months. ;)

Feels good to be back!

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saying goodbye to summer

On our last day of summer here at our little Manor.  We really snuggled into this place of ours this summer.  The seeds we planted over the last few years have come to life here in a lot of ways.  This is the longest we’ve lived anywhere since our family started, and it feels like such a sweet corner to be nestled into in this season of life.

We are very much entering our “middle” phase, as we’ve seen the hard work from our “early” stages start to pay off over the decade, we still aren’t necessarily coasting.  Our life is so so so so so full, in every sense of the word, and sometimes it feels like we’re tredging through stressful seasons, but at the same time breezing by in the scope of life.

I asked Harlo recently if she ever thinks about moving out of here and she said, “Never.  I love this house.” and it pierced my heart to the core.  We have made a happy little home here.

It is not perfect, the office needs to be tweaked again, I’d like to freshen up some paint, and we have just that little bit to go to finish up the original remodel.  We are our best with projects, creative juices flowing, and hands busy in service for our home and family.  I’m so grateful for the opportunity of service this little home provides.

When we bought this house, we really loved the idea of living this season of our lives intentionally simple.  We hope to plant seeds for our future while we live here, but rest here in this happy place we’ve worked so hard for.  We have learned so much, and taught our kids along the way.  I have grown up a lot in this house as I have progressed to my “late twenties”, and have birthed two more children while we’ve lived here.  We have continued and started businesses in this home, and every day as I walk our streets I feel inspired to do and live better.

I know we are always growing and shifting and always on the look for more, but this season has been one of letting go and just being still for a time, and that has gifted me such joy and happiness for choosing this path.  Business, success, independence, space, time, and uninterrupted sleep will be in the seasons to come.  I can only pray they are just as full of beauty as this season we’re in right now. ♥

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