last days and bittersweetness

The last day of school finally came for my two oldest Miller babes.

This specific last day brought on a lot of feelings – we are making some changes to our schooling next year, and facing the last day at a school we’ve loved, proved to be a lot harder than we had anticipated.

This year has been such a good one for my little girls.  They have had wonderful teachers again, and we are so thrilled about that.

Stella enjoyed all of 2nd grade with her best friend in her class – what little girl dreams are made of.  Harlo also blossomed this year – she received the “Kindness Ninja” award at the end of the year, and that fit my girl well.  I’m so glad that she shows as much kindness at school as she does here at home.  Both girls worked hard on their own to receive their school’s academic award – the Radiant Roadrunner, and both girls got their metals.  We have had a YEAR here at home with moves, and grief, and all the usual chaos that comes with a family – but our girls are strong and resilient.  I’m so proud of what they accomplished this year – and it really was ALL them. (Because mama had a rough year too!)

By the end of the day, we all had truly learned what the word “bittersweet” meant and felt like, but still decided that the direction we have been praying for, and talking over, and thinking about all these months, is in fact what will be best for us – even if it’s hard to say goodbye (for now!) to friends and teachers we love. (You have been the best Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Bastian! My girls were so lucky this year!)

We know and believe that the future is as bright as your faith, so even though we don’t know exactly what this road ahead will look like, we have FAITH that as God brings us to things, they will always be what is best.  We do know that, and we are reminding ourselves as often as we need to.

We are still getting some ducks in a row for our next year, but I’m sure I’ll be sharing more about that as the story unfolds – you know how I roll. ;)

To my darling girls, I say to you:

You teach me every single day.  I have loved watching you go to school, learn new things, step out of your comfort zones, make friends, help people, show kindness to others all around you.  It has blessed my life to see how you both are flourishing.  I am so grateful for  happy healthy daughters who love each other, as well as everyone around them.  I couldn’t be luckier to have you two at the head of my children, and because you are the ones leading,  I know every little thing is going to be alright.

You are my favorites of all the kids in all the schools!

Next year is going to be a fantastic year – I know it.

-Mama

 

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marathon week

I feel like I know exactly what it’s like to run a marathon now after having 3/4 in their last week of school.  Two field trips, two major projects due, 2nd grade exhibit, hip hop performance, 2nd grade program, preschool graduation… all in the last week and a half. Thursday is the last day and I am feeling like I’m on 26/26.2.

Only a little while to cross the finish line to freeeeedommmm!

Planning on doing a whole lot of this in the coming months:

-girls cute new bikes here and here

Also! Alsooo! Did I mention we had plans to do the exterior of our new house? Ya know, it wouldn’t be ours until we really made it ours, right?  So we started that this week!  I can hardly even wait to see it all finished.

Follow me on instagram to watch it unfold live.

Prayers we all make it to the finish line!

Be back with house updates soon!!

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one year anniversary

A year ago our sweet pup Finn joined our family.

He is the perfect fifth child.

He keeps me walking every day, per his persistent pawing at my workout clothes and bringing me my sneakers.

He always keeps an eye on the kids, a trusty little nanny dog.

He is especially fond of his twin-soul, Major.  The two are quite a pair, adding so much sweetness to my life.

He is so goofy and full of personality and is the most snuggly, affectionate dog I’ve ever had.

He sleeps at my feet, and just as the sun comes up he sneaks his way to my pillow for morning cuddles.  The kids find us, and pile in and I know he is the happiest dog in the world.

We love him dearly.

May you always know how loved you are, Finny Boy.  You’re forever a part of our family.

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grace

It’s 1:18pm.

My house is quiet and kidless (besides that napping baby) for the first time in nearly two weeks.  This may be the first time I’ve been by myself with my own thoughts for as long.

Sometimes I think of the constant and endless strain on me as a mother, and sometimes that overwhelm nearly swallows me up.  I felt that way yesterday afternoon.  That I didn’t have one more ounce of myself to give, but still hours left in the day to do so.  I found myself finding patience the next time Grae asked for her 2,304th request of the day, I graciously gave to her what she asked even though I didn’t feel like I could.

 Grace.

I find this place in motherhood often, where God’s grace sustains me further than my imperfect human body can go.  When I feel like shouting at the kids to leave me alone, but instead sigh and say “What baby? Another snack?  You bet.” walking my tired body back to the pantry and delivering the smallest detail of the world to one of my children.

“I love you, mom. You’re the best.” Grae says back.

Grace.

Fills me up and readies me for the next task motherhood will toss my way.

Grace.

As a mother, I take my days in sections, the morning time, lunch and afternoon section, the bewitching hour (that seems to last the majority of the day even though it is only found between 4-6pm), and finally, dinner and bedtime.

In tougher circumstances, like when my babies are learning to sleep by themselves, or the post partum depression is raging, or the day took a turn for the crazy.. I even take them minute by minute to get me through.  So far I’ve had a 100% chance of making it.

Grace.

Motherhood for me has been the biggest example of God’s loving grace, motherhood is basically “God’s grace for dummies“.  I’ve always noticed His grace, and perhaps taken it for granted.  But it’s been on my mind, and I seem to have found a whole lot of it lately.

I am so grateful that the days or years or minutes I fall short, God is there to pull me through the rest.  I know this is true for every person willing to accept, and learn it.  People can be tricky, and thoughtless, and mean, and careless, and certainly imperfect.  But God never is.  God is constant, and good, and on my (and your) side.  Do you know that?  I mean really, really know it?

I do.

I hope you do, too.

 

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