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life after loss | tubby babies make me happy

What a month!  Never in my life have I experienced the depths of life that loss has shown me this past month.  I am exhausted, and so ready to put it behind me and learn and grow, and gain perspective over pain.  I am looking ahead with a heart broken open, eyes that see deeper, love that extends more fully.  Again, the mantra that gets me through my hardest hours have been, “I am not afraid, I was born to do this,”  With the good Lord on my side, I will be held steady.  I will be given what I need in my time of suffering, my worst days will be sanctified.  

I have appreciated every bit of advice I’ve been given on how to get through this debilitating grief.  One dear family friend of mine (@myfriendmesha on instagram) mentioned “hand therapy”, where you work with your hands on anything.  Gardening, baking, art.. whatever it might be.  I have been making myself pull out my camera, just like I used to love to do.  Just simply taking photos of my children living our lives.  That has gotten away from me over the years, and it felt so good to get back in touch with my roots.

I have noticed as a wonderfully tender mercy that though my heart is broken and my world seems to be crumbling, it is also full of life, and light, and promise.  My life is good, and happy, and fulfilling.  It will heal me as I lean into it fully, as I have been called to do.  Nothing reminded me of this more than having my babies in the tub the other morning.  I got out my camera and remembered again, that life is happy.  My heart is right here at home with my little ones, and this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Anyone around here long enough to remember THIS or THIS post?  It’s like having the same babes twice! :D

Praying that May blossoms into beautiful things in your lives.  Mine too!

xoxo

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Major | My baby is two!

Oh my word, by the time you are reading this, my baby will be two whole years old.
Everyday Major has been in my life, he truly has been my little “sun-shine”.
Major has loved his mama so well, and is now loving me through some of my harder days.
He, without a doubt, has picked up on the need to give me some extra love these past few weeks.
Major is such a smart boy.  I had anticipated a boy learning differently than my girls have, and in some ways that’s been true, but he really keeps up with them!
He knows his ABC’s, twinkle-twinkle, you are my sunshine, popcorn popping.
He is a good little singer, he loves to sing, and he honestly started talking that way.
As we would sing together, and he’d sing along, he just started being able to talk the more he’d sing.
He talks like such a growly old man, which is the best thing ever.  You can hardly understand, but there are words there. :D
Major has definitely become attached to one blanket, lovingly referred to as “boos” around the Miller Manor.  Even though he only has one, he calls it his “boosssss” always with a drawn-out, lispy “s”. That’s 4/4 blanky babes!
He definitely loves his ba-ba or “jink” as he calls it.  I know it’s time to switch to sippies, but this kid just may be my last babe so I am going to saaaaaavor him and ignore any sideways glances I get over it. :P He drinks out of sippies or regular cups, but prefers a bottle for bed and in the morning.


Maj is such a precious, sweet, tender, loving boy.  He lives with four ladies who ADORE him.  Genuinely just die for him on the daily.
We are always talking about how we cannot get enough of this baby man of ours, so Heaven guide him to be humble, because he surely will not be getting that at home.
But you can’t blame us, he is so happy to see any single one of us, no matter if it’s just been five minutes we’ve been out of the room.
He hands us out kisses on demand, never leaving one of us out.
He has us all knowing we are his favorite… and honestly I don’t know who it is.. He likes us all so much.
And just when we think he’s just a ladies man, he’s out pallin’ around with Mr. Miller which just makes our hearts burst all the more.  We can’t.  I can’t..
Major is an instinctive little man cub, in that he is basically a wild animal… he loves every single thing our dog Finn loves.  They browse around outside, dig up things they’re not supposed to, mosey around with each other, pick up scraps to eat off the floor of the kitchen.  They eat around the same time, poop around the same time.  They beg for long walks around the neighborhood, and always want to climb into my lap.  We call them the twins (they are just a couple weeks apart!) because they act just alike.
A boy and his dog really is just a thing.
Major is one of my pickier eaters, but he does love yogurt or oatmeal for breakfast, loves the staples like “mac-and-pony”, quesadillas from cafe rio, and peanut butter sandwiches.  His faaaavorite treat is a spoonful of peanut butter and often brings me a spoon begging for some. :)
Sometimes I wonder if he gets enough to eat, because I swear he hardly touches the food I put in front of him, but each week it seems he’s grown another couple inches and another few pounds.
Keeping him in shoes and clothes is a part time job in and of itself.
He is wearing a size 6 diaper, size 8 shoe, 3T clothes.
He definitely weighs more than Grae, which is perfect for her because she makes him push her around in strollers, bikes, etc. and he’s just happy to be her muscle!
Major is sweet, and happy, and easy-going.
He is fun, and silly, and just enough wild.
He is snugly, and tender, and makes our heart burst when he flashes us those big brown eyes, and that million dollar grin.
We needed this baby boy like the earth needs the sun, and I am so glad he’s ours forever and ever.
I am a lucky mama to call you mine, Major my boy.
Don’t you ever forget how loved you are.
Happy birthday my baby, I am so happy to be the one to watch you grow up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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a word from the mother

I am finding myself in a whole new season lately.
I have FOUR children, a whole family all of my own.  My dreams came true, and it’s surreal to be living it.
I have passed many of the infant/baby stages with no real promise of more coming our way, so that is also really different for us.

Major, my baby, is gaining serious momentum toward full-blown toddler hood.
I don’t think it’s any secret that having a boy changed my heart (some may say it grew 3 sizes that day), but mercy me, I see very clearly why God sent me 3 little girls ahead of him.
This boy of mine is busy, busy, busy, busy.  I am turning around to clean one mess up, and he’s on the top shelf of something else.  I get him down and he’s running off to find the next bit of mischief he can find.  He is into my cupboards, drawers, pantry, baskets, bathrooms, any pile of anything.  I am on my toes and busy literally chasing him most of the day, besides his glorious glorious nap time – bless my heart.
He snuggles me, he adores me, he lights up when I walk into a room.  He will hang on the couch with me forever, never fights me (except when I’m changing his diaper!), and keeps me and his sisters swooning our days away.  I get it, guys.  Baby men.. nothing quite like ’em. He is talking more all the time, and is 100% boy in every single way.  His pudgy little feet stomp around, constantly snacking on something, car in one hand, ball in the other.  He loves me to sing to him and sings along with me to ‘twinkle-twinkle’, ‘you are my sunshine’, and giggles when I begin his night time lullabye.
Even if he does refuse to stay my forever-infant, I am still just as head over heels in love with that son of mine.

HOWEVER, don’t let that get you mistaken.  My girls are the girls of my dreams.

Harlo is just effortlessly cool (I felt her distinctly pass me up at age 8), she is stunningly beautiful and doesn’t even realize it.  She is tender and kind and gentle and good.  She is getting so mature and I’m loving this new layer to our relationship.  We often stay up way too late chatting in her bed, she’s my right hand planner, and she’s in charge of all the organization in our home and doesn’t get annoyed with me yet.  I love her! Harlo is also made up exactly like her father, and (almost) nothing  like me, so she keeps me busy working on how I communicate with her, paying close attention to whether she gets enough love from me, worrying over our relationship because of our differences, and appreciating so much how much she’s opened my soul and changed me, and how I look at people, forever and ever amen.
Because of our differences though, we find this deep understanding with one another.  I can clearly see when she’s at her limit, and she can see when I’m at mine.  We have a certain respect for one another, and we help calm each other rather than rise tension with one another.   We seem to balance each other.  She more than anyone else I can see the reason she came to my life.  Because she is the only one who could have changed everything for me, and keeps changing everything for me.  My love for this girl runs deep.

Stella is just the funnest.  Picture a skipping, twirling, giggling dress-wearing, baby doll-loving 7 year old, and you’ve got Stella.  Stella is the best server in the family.  She is always getting drinks or snacks for someone, assisting Harlo with this, or helping Grae with that.  She’ll keep Major entertained while I cook, and thinks up games for everyone to play.  We all often say “Stella’s the best!” because she’s always leveling up the love around here.  Stella marches to the beat of her own drum and is completely not bothered by what anyone else thinks – exactly what I adore in her father, I love this about her.  I find myself praying for protection over this about her.  I hope she always marches on and never bends to the pressure of the world.
Stella, like me in so so so many ways, is also like me in the sassy-mouthed, loud-mouthed, no-hard-time-expressing-her-feelings kind of way.  Because of this, she’s always the first one to stick up for one of her siblings against me, the one I’m reminding most to watch her mouth, and reigning her in from emotion-overload.  I cringe at myself inside when I have to get after Stella because I can feel the internal smirk of my parents.  Oh mercy.  When they said “I hope you get a daughter just like you!” (in both good and mad ways) I surely did in my Stella. :D It’s because of this though, that I don’t worry about our relationship (aside from her teen years! Bless.).  We speak the same love language and sort through things the same way.  I know this will be such a blessing for a life-long relationship, especially in her adult years.

Grae.. Oh man, what can be summed up about that girl?  She is finally moving on from ferocious toddler moodiness that started around age 1 and we’re hoping now that 4 is around the corner, we’re seeing the end of it.  She is communicating so well and beginning to understand how to cope through her rather complex emotions. :D The very unexpected surprise of Grae is how much of a lovey girl she is.  She is very affectionate, so snuggly, always telling me she loves me, or Major, or anyone else, out of the blue.  That girl can take you from 0-60 and back in absolutely no time.  With my older two I was like “They’re darling, but in order for them to develop properly, we mustn’t give in to every whim..” with Grae I’m like “So sue me, I give in to every single whim.”
Grae has me wearing out the pages of “the strong-willed child” in The Child Whisperer, and boy does that fit her to a T.  One tip that has been so helpful in that book has been to read “Let them do what they want to do with your set boundaries, because they’ll likely find a way to do it anyway.” Switching that idea in my head has made a world of peace between Gigi and I.  She is an excellent little artist at her age, and now I see those years with the sharpies all over my (damn) house were just her inner creativity yearning to come out!
Grae girl is a total tom-boy.  Obviously this is not anything she picked up at home with me and her two very girly sisters.  She just likes what she likes, and what she does like is blue and green and cars and reptiles and superheros.  She looks like a real-live tinkerbell and is usually dressed in a gecko costume. Ha!  She is the best thing on the planet.  Seriously.

My life is completely full as a mother and wife, and I’ve had to be intentional about shaving a bit of time for me and my passions.  That is soooo okay with me though.  These are the years.  The full and fleeting family years.  Even though it can sometimes feel consuming and overwhelming, these are the years I’ve dreamed of, and I am going to soak them in every last drop.

Some things that are necessary for my sanity:

monthly cleaning lady, writing (making a priority after months of slacking), weekly date nights, church on Sundays to refill my cup, late night chats with friends after kids are in bed, boundaries from the world and outside pressures, Maskcara makeup, and my happy planner.

 

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swinging

You wake from your nap, arms reaching for me as I walk through your door.

I lift up all 28 lbs of you and bury my face in the nape of your neck – the place I can always smell a bit of heaven.

I slip out the back door, you on my hip, completely content.

I sit on the swing, with you in my lap.

For the first time today, we have a quiet moment to ourselves.

The mild breeze from swinging sways your baby hair back and forth.

The weight of you head on my chest, your chubby legs fall on my lap.

The contentment of a beautiful life washes over me, and I think over you as well.

These moments are brief, but their effects are long-lasting.

My arms and legs are getting tired, but I’d sway here with you forever if you let me.

I soak in as much of your baby-ness in this moment as I can.

In all my life I’ve never been as happy as I am in this season right now, and much of that is because of you.

We sway back and forth, just the rustling of the leaves to be heard.

Then, they spot us.

The door swings open, and the other three head out our way, squealing with delight that you’re awake.

They run to the swings, asking for a turn, squishing your legs, asking if we can have tacos for dinner.

Our quiet moment is over, back to real life.

But this real life of ours is good.

It is very, very good.

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my baby boyfriend – a love story

Major Miller,

You are sure winning my heart over these days with your big brown eyes, creamy tanned skin, and juicy red lips.  I especially love the way you say “yeah” to every question.  That’s why I ask you all the time “Major, do you love your mama?” and when you say “yeah” it sends my heart soaring.

(You’re even cute with a crusty nose #molars)

You are a mama’s boy, and I have never been happier about anything.

You are happiest up in my arms – all 28 lbs of you.

If I sit down, you make a mad dash over to me and lay on me, smooch me, stroke my hair…

You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had (besides daddy).

You are handsome, and sweet, and snugly.

 

 What more could a girl ask for??

 

 

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major and his mama

There is a boy who I am spending quite a lot of time with these days.

As I scrolled through my photo albums from the weekend, I found various pictures the girls have taken of me over the last few days – all of which this handsome honey is in my arms.  (You could say we like hanging out together.)

Friday dinner making:

Saturday porch sitting:

Sunday after-churching:

Then this picture popped up from “This time last year”.  Remember when we looked like this together? :

I told Mr. Miller that maybe that last pregnancy wasn’t as hard as I thought it was?  He assured me, it was.

Maybe it was.

But it was sure worth it.

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Major Turns One | Birthday Fiesta

This year was officially the fastest year of my entire life.  The one year mark didn’t sneak up on me as much as it sped right to me like a semi on the freeway.  I couldn’t jump out of it’s way, and it was coming whether I wanted it to or not.

I love one year olds, but I also love 11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2, & 1 month olds.  I love every single drop of that first year of babyhood and it’s so bittersweet seeing my own little baby turn one.  I just want moooore time, is that so much to ask?  Just like double – or triple the time?  Anyway, his first birthday came and just like the rest of his life here with us, it was absolutely perfect.

 Major smashing his cake was maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  He was HAMMING it up for all to enjoy.  We haven’t stopped talking about what a little charmer he is.

 We are in love with this boy like we never knew was possible.  After a year, we have found that being the baby of the family AND the only boy is a pretty sweet place to land in life.

 p.s.
Easiest party in the world to throw is a fiesta!
Double easy if your party is in the remote vicinity of Cinco De Mayo!
We may be having birthday fiestas as a new tradition. :D

p.p.s
Upon requesting for Mr. Miller to wear “anything colorful or that you’d wear in Mexico.” He came out wearing this shirt that was a hand-me-down Tommy Bahama shirt with a PEP IN HIS STEP. (Much to my dismay, and not-so-subtle suggestions to change several times.)
You may not know this about Mr. Miller, but he can’t wait to be an old man.
Tommy Bahama shirts, beige Cadillacs, and early bird buffet specials are what I have to look forward to with this husband of mine.
Hopefully I can hold him off at least until he turns 35. ;)

 

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Easter weekend 2017

We doubled up on holidays this weekend celebrating our sweet Major’s birthday along with Easter, my favorite Holiday.  It was hectic and lovely and filled to the very brim with goodness and love. (I’ll post about Major’s birthday in another post)

On Saturday, we walked to the Art’s Festival which is my very favorite weekend in St. George.  Easter is wonderful everywhere, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s the best spent in our little Southern Utah town.  I have gone EVER single year my whole life and I love bringing my own children now.  I also love living downtown this time of year (and every other time of year, too, actually).  There’s just a happy bustling down the streets, trees blossoming into Spring, flowers blooming all over the colorful houses.  I love it down here and think I maybe never want to leave.

After the arts festival, our church ward had their annual Easter Egg hunt at the park.  Of course it was a hit:

After that, MY cousins were in town and they stopped by the Miller Manor for dinner Saturday night.  I was having too much fun to snap any pics, but I super loved having my cousins and aunt and uncle over for dinner.  It made me feel like a kid and a grown-up all at once, which is a pretty neat feeling.

******************

Easter Sunday, my honey spoke in another ward, so me and the little Millies (sans Stella who had woken up with strep!) headed to support our main guy.  Mr. Miller is a fantastic speaker in church, and with his new church calling in the high council, he is able to speak a whole lot!  I think it’s a perfect fit.

My Mr. Miller gave the neatest talk about that first Easter.  My favorite part of his talk is when he spoke about Mary and her broken mother heart, seeing her baby on the cross like that.  Jesus did the hardest thing anyone will do, but I think Mary had to do a big part of that too.  As I sat with my own precious baby son on my lap, my heart broke for Mary – someone I have grown to understand and deeply love since becoming a mother.  I love that my husband paid tribute to this sacred moment, and it’s been on my mind ever since.  The atonement and resurrection are so vast that most of the time I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it all, but when I can spend time pondering little aspects of it, I gain a testimony of the little pieces, and they weave together a testimony of hope, faith, truth, and love for my Savior and what He did for us.  

It’s amazing that the lives we enjoy today, the forgiveness we rely on, the happiness and hope we can feel is because of that sacred day when Jesus conquered death.  I have spent the last ten years of my Christianity learning to grasp this, and I’ve no where near mastered the enormity of this concept, but I’m learning, and I am awe-struck over the love our Heavenly Father has for us.

Easter is my very favorite holiday.  It’s one of simplicity and love and beauty, and I love it just as much now (more so, actually) as I did as a little girl.  Each Easter, as I line up my darling babies to photograph them in their Easter ensembles I am overcome with gratefulness.  Grateful that my life took such a wonderful turn back there somwhere, and that by turning my heart to Jesus Christ, I have created this beautiful life.  It never ceases to amaze me.  This year I had a bench full of MY own children, and nothing could make me happier.

Of course, Jesus isn’t the only man we were feeling extra grateful for this Easter.  Celebrating my only son’s first birthday on this special day felt a little like magic.  In his dapper little Easter outfit, my heart nearly burst right open.  I sure love my little prince!

As I mentioned, sweet Stella woke up in the night with a hot fever and felt miserable all day on Easter. (She was also sick for Valentines – what luck!) I brought her to the doctor Monday morning and she has strep!  Poor sister.  We had to skip on the cousin Easter-egg hunt at Nana and Papa’s house and my girls were SO bummed.  But you better believe Nana and Papa brought that Easter Egg hunt to them on Monday so they didn’t have to entirely miss out.  (Thank you Grandma for braving the sickness and letting us come to your house on Easter!  You saved the day!)

 It takes a village to raise a happy family, and I am so grateful for ours.  This Easter weekend was one of my very, very favorites.

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oh hey monday!

Back to another week at Miller Manor.

Mondays are something I’ve actually (dare I say it?) come to love.  I love the freshness of Mondays – fridge is stocked, dinners are planned, washing machine humming all day.

After being gone for over half of March, my house is in an “overdue” state.  I am trying trying to get back on top of it – but as you know about me – housework isn’t my strong suit… it’s something I have to work HARD at to learn and maintain.  Wish me luck!  I am slipping on my apron (because I work better in a uniform – also, pockets), checking off my cleaning list (I’m looking at you, kitchen clutter!) and listening to my favorite book Heaven Is Here today while I clean –  nothing gives me a boost of self-confidence and faith more than that book.

(Major’s cute bottle is from Twistshake, get 20% off with cassmiller20 today!)

Also – thank you for all your writing suggestions last week! It helped so much, and has inspired a new project I’d like to work on for the blog.  I’m still brainstorming on that bit, but I loved hearing all the things you’d like to hear more of from me and I want to be able to share more of those things on a regular basis.  I’ve got a list of each suggestion and I’ll be checking them off one by one! Stay tuned.  If you missed it and would like to me to write about something, comment here and I’ll add it to the list! xoxo

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Major Monthly – TEN

Major is just as sweet as they come.
Truly a little angel boy.
He is calm, mellow, completely laid back.
Wow, we really needed one like that in this family. ;)
He was nearly 22 lbs at his 9 month appointment, putting him just 2 lbs behind his big sister.
This boy is a little tank.  He is rolly and squishy and ever so delishy.
He has 6 teeth, and is working on 7 & 8 as we speak.  Poor guy got all 6 in the matter of about 2 weeks!
He loves to grind his top with his bottom and it sends a shiver down my soul every single time.
He is happy and goofy and always on the go.
He army crawls faster than anything you’ve ever seen.  A couple months ago we were at a friend’s who had been in the army.  They were so impressed with his form and speed. ha!
He can now crawl with his belly off the ground, but when he’s being quick he’ll resort to the army crawl, or “the slither” as I have named it.
I always love this age so much, their little personalities really start to blossom at this age.
Maj has turned into a little goof ball.  He loves anything silly.
He plays peek-a-boo with anything he can.
He waves on demand, melting the hearts of all the women in his life (sisters).
He says mama, dada, stella, hi, bye, uh-oh, mmmm, yeah, boo, baba.
He has started to mimick anything we do, and will try to say words we tell him to.
He is the latest of my early talkers, but it just fits right along with his laid back demeanor.
He growls and woofs like a little puppy.  He reminds me of a puppy in so many ways, we often call him “Pup”.
The other day I came around the kitchen island and he was right there and right when he saw me, he said “raw!” Definitely learned that from his sisters. ;)
He loves the school bus and waving his sisters off and home from school.
Major definitely loves his mama in a special way, but he honestly is a fan of our whole crew.
He plays with Grae, and pesters her like the little brother he is.
He takes to Harlo just like his second mama, and Stella is his favorite source of entertainment.
One thing that has been so fun for me to see, is the brother-sister dynamic come to life.  I have no brothers, so this is a very first for me.
I always say that Major is the little house boyfriend, and it’s so true.  He has us ladies completely smitten.  He can do no wrong (yet).
I can tell he and Brady have their own little guy-bond and my heart just about bursts right in two when I see them together.
My boys.  My goodness I’m glad we have a son.
Major is officially done nursing, as of 9 months.
Of course, that milestone has been a little bittersweet.
I wanted to chat about it more for my record so..
Struggling with milk supply is the name of the game for me.  I fight back hard, and have been able to make nursing work, which has been so wonderful.  Major is such an eater – he eats WAY more than my girls did.  When we started feeding him baby food, I realized this especially.  He was nursing non stop all day, and never seeming satisfied.  His sleeping at night was getting worse and worse.  He was up every two hours to eat, for sure.  I was making myself crazy taking supplements, counting calories (making sure I was getting enough), drinking water by the gallon and living on no sleep, I felt like my milk battle was winning me, not me winning it.
I also can’t pump after the first bit, because my milk wont let down with a pump.  This is all stuff I dealt with with my others too, but I still just pressed on.  Then when Major was about 7 months, I had a photo shoot take me away for longer than 2 hours, and as a desperate attempt, I had Brady go pick up a small can of formula at the store and see if he’d take it.  He gulped down a 6 ounce bottle then took a 3.5 hour nap.
And not that this was THE answer, and not that I couldn’t have still pushed on with nursing exclusively.. but I felt my heart change – how prayers are often answered for me.  I had been drowning and I couldn’t think of anything I could move from my plate to stay afloat, and on that day, I saw something that I could move off my plate.  I could have kept fighting, but I didn’t have to.  And it’s a lesson I hadn’t learned yet in mothering, and I’m grateful for.  We didn’t rush into anything, I kept nursing – and on days I felt nursing wasn’t enough, I’d feed him a bottle.  Then I started feeding him a bottle before bed, and that made all the difference in his sleeping.  We gradually, very slowly moved from nursing to bottles full time.  And instead of feeling terribly sad, or like defeat, I felt happier, and I could tell Major was happier.  I felt like I had done what was right for us, not what was right for me, or what I wanted to do the most, but what was right for us.  And that felt so good.
Major is happily taking 2-3 8 oz. bottles a day, sleeping through the night, and finally napping reguarly too.  It has also been such a sweet tender mercy to me because my oldest baby was a bottle-baby as well, and it’s brought back so many sweet memories from her babyhood.  It’s another testiment to there being a million ways to be a good mother, and no one way.  As a mama of four babies now, I haven’t found two that are exactly alike.  I have had to be four different mothers to my four different children.  And somehow, I am doing it, by the Grace (and loads of help) of God.
And that is the story of how Major went from a nursing baby, to a bottle-fed baby.  The end.
Major is truly the easiest.  We have schlepped that baby around on road trips, various adventures, camping, hotels, pack-n-plays in different places.  He sometimes has to take a carpool ride rather than take a nap, or not get to bed as early as he’d like because we’re still not through with dinner.  He is so go with the flow, and I am forever forever grateful he’s in our family.
Our happy little caboose.  What a dream.
He has shown me a whole new flavor of love.
I feel like the luckiest to get to be his mama.

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9 months in, 9 months out

My sweet Major has officially been in my arms as long as he was in my belly.
I remember when this original picture was taken, on my due date, 9 months ago.
My tail bone was sore, my ribs were wrecked, my stomach was stretched so far.
I told Brady that night, “I wonder if this is your big strapping son in here and that’s why I’m so uncomfortable.” (it was)
I remember so clearly the feelings of anticipation as I was about to give birth and see what that sweet little bundle would be – boy or girl.
I had visions of what our family dynamic would look like, and change, and all the bittersweet-ness that comes in those last days of pregnancy.
But nothing at all could have prepared me for the love that was headed our way.
These 9 months have been some of my very happiest.
Major brought contentment to our family.
And maybe he wont be the last, and maybe he will.
One thing is for sure though, he’d be a great note to end on.

So very glad that big ol’ belly brought me my sweet little honey man.
Worth every single popped-out rib, ten fold!

 

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twenty one pounds

Mr. Major Miller had his 9 month well check recently.

He was 21 lbs, that strapping son of mine.
Though my heart is full of pride for this quickly growing man-cub, my heart stings the bigger he gets.
It seems he is growing faster than the rest of my babies have, and they sped by too quickly, too.
So I will hold him in my arms just a little longer.
Take 1,340 pictures of him a day in an effort to freeze time in my memory.
I want to remember him just exactly like this,

Milk mustache, draped in my arms, dimpled fingers, chubby feet.  Being rocked in his quiet, calm nursery.

Man, I love having a baby.

 

 

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Atta Boy!

Last night Mr. Major Miller slept from 8:30pm – 5:00am.

That is a all-time record for this son of mine.

Atta boy, son!

Don’t you feel like a new man?

(Let’s do that again tonight)

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today

This morning I woke up (mostly) rested.

My children were happily smooched off to school.

My husband was happily smooched off to work.

My babies have done 294 darling things.

The grocery shopping is done.

Some house chores will be performed with Christmas Music in the air.

There will be snuggling on the couch this afternoon (just as I finish this post!).

The darling neighbor girl will come for dinner.

The big girls and I will watch a Christmas movie before bed.

Just a very regular happy day that I didn’t want to forget.

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Major Tidbits

Six(ish) Months

This little honey man.
He is pure deliciousness, I tell you what.
Major is such a happy, happy boy.
He rarely ever cries.
He travels in the car like a dream boat.
He is army crawling all over the place, sometimes now getting his belly off the floor.
He is by far my earliest crawler.  And he’s fast!
He officially has grown out of his boucer, swing, etc.
He still does like his johnny jump-up that hangs in the kitchen door, though.
He is the jump-jump-jumpinest babe.
He wont stand up and bear weight on his legs for too long, but he will jump for hours if you’ll let him.
He says “dada” “mama” and various “ba!” “guh!” sounds he calls through the house.
He’s really working on that wave!
He definitely knows his name and responds to it every single time it’s called.
He has the sisters all figured out.
He’ll rely on Harlo to soothe him, he laughs at Stella even if she glances his way, and he has started thinking Grae is just about the neatest pal a guy could ask for.
He has also already learned to pester those sisters of his, Grae being the easiest target.
He’ll grab at her or touch her things and the more she reacts to it, the more he wants to do it with a sly smile on his face.
Those two crack me up!
I can already see they will have such a neat relationship.
It’s been so fun for me to see the brother/sister dynamic, because I’ve never experienced that.
He is just the mini boyfriend of the house!  We are all so smitten.
I can tell this boy is going to be loooooved his whole life long.
People make comments all the time on “Brady getting his boy”, but honestly I feel more like Brady got his girls and now I get my boy. ;)
It sure is good to be loved like this.  It has been a precious tender mercy to my life!
Major is mini man, and that includes being a big ol’ eater!
The second we started solids (5-6 months old), he was a fan.
He is now eating solids 3 times a day and nursing a countless amount as well.  That boy can put it away!  He eats way way way more than my girls ever did.
Our pediatrician has been so great at preparing me for the stage ahead with a boy and eating, late talking, early mobility he was dead-on for.
He is as solid as a rock.  He’s got the best coosh all over, and the guy is heavy!
My back is really paying for it, but my mama heart couldn’t be more proud of this growing guy.
I cannot keep the boy in clothes – he grows in and out of sizes in a matter of weeks.  I can’t shop ahead in seasons, because once we get to them, he’s no where near the size I thought he’d be.
He’s currently growing into 12m clothes.  He’s in a size 3 shoe, and getting close to a 4.
He is in a size 4 diaper, the same size as Grae, and he fills them out way more than she does.
They are just the cutest ‘tiny big sister’, and ‘big baby brother’ you could ever imagine.
If Major had one single down-fall – and he does – it’s his sleep.  I’m not sure what happened there, because he started out as a pretty great sleeper, but he really never got any better than he did as a newborn.  He’s not my worst sleeper, but he still is wanting to eat 3 times a night and he barely naps for any amount of time.
We have really tried to work on his sleep habits, but as soon as we make some progress, it seems like a trip or a cold or something or another comes along and wrecks any progress we have made.  The best he’s ever done is makes it until 3am, so that’s the goal we shoot for.
Usually though, he’s wanting to wake up and eat at 12, then 2, then 5, then 7…
He naps from 10-11 and 2-3ish, and maybe another cat nap around dinner time.
He likes going to bed, he just doesn’t stay asleep for as long as we’d hope.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I raise babies who hate sleep.  Which is weird, because I’m really quite fond of sleeping.
At this age, it seems post partum depression starts creeping in for me.  I am aware and know more of how to handle it, but it’s just something I deal with in the post-partum phase.  I’ll chat more about depression in another post, but wanted to jot it down here for my records.
Major has made adjusting to four kids a serious breeze.  He has seemed to sneak right into our family dynamic and add to it happily and effortlessly.
Each of us is just as smitten with him as the next, we can’t imagine what life was ever like without him in it.
Our world is brighter and happier with this sweet boy.
I just feel like the absolute luckiest mama to have my three sweet girls, and this special boy to boot.
He has changed me and softened me in all the best ways only a son could.
He makes me love a little deeper, smile a little easier, and live a little fuller.
Our love is the eternal kind, and I am ever so grateful for our Heavenly Father for making that type of love possible in this life.
Major, my sweet son, thank you for choosing me.  For choosing us.  We are so happy you’re here.

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