About Cass Miller

Author Archive | Cass Miller

Author Archive | Cass Miller

living with intention | when enough is enough

I am entering a season of serious intentional living.

I have found that intentional living sometimes comes in waves.  I get in the ebb of life’s grooves, and have to redirect myself to the flow.

I am coming out of a growing season, where I was looking outward at what was ahead in our lives as we made choices and navigated some difficult situations.  The answer to my prayers in this season though, was to instead look inward to determine our future.  It was not the opportunities that may or may not lay ahead for our family that was the answer to this certain question, but rather the contentment that was already enveloping us in this current season.

For the first time in our lives, we aren’t chasing the next dream.  We are living the dream we chased and caught.  I don’t mean that we aren’t dreaming anymore, or that we “have arrived”, but specifically, we worked long and hard for years upon years to purchase the house we currently live in.  We are now presented with a good amount of equity that would secure us a larger home, a home we could comfortably “grow into”, a home that could possibly be our “forever home”.  Yet, this particular opportunity of moving from our beloved little cottage came rather quickly for my liking.  We are always willing to do what is best for our family, but as we looked seriously into that, we realized that a bigger “more comfortable” home was just simply not what was best.  Or perhaps a more clear way to phrase it, is that a bigger home would not be “better”.

This answer became clear to us each day as we contemplated selling our beloved cottage – our three bedroom house surrounding now six people.  It became clear in the way we felt as we pulled into our driveway, admiring the jasmine we planted crawling up our columns.  The happy welcome our blue front door presents – the door I painted with a 6 week old baby Grae strapped to my body.  It became clear in the way we feel when our family crowds around the island for breakfast as we read scripture, discuss important family matters, or giggle as I dance around Mr. Miller, making him blush.  It became clear in the way we feel with all three of our girls snuggled into bed for the night – in their shared bedroom, as our precious son sleeps soundly in the room right next door.  It became clear in the way we perfectly fill up our living room – a spot that seems just exactly the right size for our family of six.  It became clear in the perfectness of me making dinner, babies coloring and snacking on the counter right beside me, and the sound of the big girls practicing piano filling our entire home.

We live in a little cottage – a little cottage we have worked hard on making our very own.  A little cottage that has our stamp in every single corner.  This little cottage may someday feel too small for  us, but happily, today is not that day.  And we don’t have to move into a bigger home because we can, or because that’s “what you do”, or because it’s expected to keep growing materialistically.

I think there is something to be said for chasing after a dream to accomplishment, but there is also something to be said when recognizing that enough really is enough for now.

It became apparent that happiness may await us in the next chapter of our lives, but one thing we know for sure, is that happiness is right here where we are already.  And for now, that is exactly enough. 

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Mothers Day is just around the corner!

I’m sure you have noticed, Mother’s Day is right around the corner.  Funny story (not), last year my Mother’s Day didn’t go quite as I had anticipated.  I am a great wife (I like to believe), so I send Mr. Miller a wish list well in advance.  Except last year, he thought it would be a good idea to veer from that list, go rogue, and get me something that he thought I might like.

Back to the training center we go.

This year, I have sent a fool proof, itemized wishlist of things I actually want.  If it is helpful to you, feel free to copy and paste the email I sent to Mr. Miller this morning, and fill in your links in the necessary places.  I am hoping for a very successful Mother’s Day this year. ;)

**********************************

Hello my sweet husband,

I hope you are thinking of me today, at home with your children – loving them, caring for them, changing, feeding, clothing them.  I hope you are picturing me folding laundry and wondering what you would enjoy for supper after your hard day’s work.
WITH THAT BEING SAID….
Here is my Mother’s Day wish list for you. :)
Imagine how cute I would look walking into church on your arm in this dress
I would also thoroughly enjoy cooking you some delicious dinners in this here cast iron dutch oven

Please kindly let me know if there is any trouble with these recommendations.  Remember these are the things I actually want, I am not wishing for a surprise on this blessed holiday – unless of course that surprise is a darling puppy.. in any case, I would still very much like the new Sunday dress to go with my new puppy. ;)

Warm Reguards,
Your Beloved Wife
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I like to think Mr. Miller thoroughly enjoys being married to me… I thoroughly enjoy being married to him…. especially when he sticks to my Mother’s Day list. *wink!*
At least you always know where you stand with me, Darling. ♥
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Major Turns One | Birthday Fiesta

This year was officially the fastest year of my entire life.  The one year mark didn’t sneak up on me as much as it sped right to me like a semi on the freeway.  I couldn’t jump out of it’s way, and it was coming whether I wanted it to or not.

I love one year olds, but I also love 11,10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2, & 1 month olds.  I love every single drop of that first year of babyhood and it’s so bittersweet seeing my own little baby turn one.  I just want moooore time, is that so much to ask?  Just like double – or triple the time?  Anyway, his first birthday came and just like the rest of his life here with us, it was absolutely perfect.

 Major smashing his cake was maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  He was HAMMING it up for all to enjoy.  We haven’t stopped talking about what a little charmer he is.

 We are in love with this boy like we never knew was possible.  After a year, we have found that being the baby of the family AND the only boy is a pretty sweet place to land in life.

 p.s.
Easiest party in the world to throw is a fiesta!
Double easy if your party is in the remote vicinity of Cinco De Mayo!
We may be having birthday fiestas as a new tradition. :D

p.p.s
Upon requesting for Mr. Miller to wear “anything colorful or that you’d wear in Mexico.” He came out wearing this shirt that was a hand-me-down Tommy Bahama shirt with a PEP IN HIS STEP. (Much to my dismay, and not-so-subtle suggestions to change several times.)
You may not know this about Mr. Miller, but he can’t wait to be an old man.
Tommy Bahama shirts, beige Cadillacs, and early bird buffet specials are what I have to look forward to with this husband of mine.
Hopefully I can hold him off at least until he turns 35. ;)

 

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the not-so-fitness post | healing my body image

I have shared a little bit about starting up Kayla Itsiness’ workout program.  I have gotten a lot of questions and I thought this would be the best place to share a bit about my experience.

I have been reluctant to put anything out there, because I am NOT a fitness queen.. but then I think that the “non fitness” type people are exactly the people I’d like to hear from with what they do to stay fit and healthy, so I’m going to share my story so far, instead of when I’m “on top” of it.  So take note that I myself am in the very beginning stages.

Before I post about my workouts, getting in shape, and the ever sought-after “how did I lose the baby weight?!” questions, I feel strong importance to tell you the whole story, and my story with body image begins before my fitness journey does.

I grew up having a lot of body-shaming talk around me, which probably had a lot to do with my poor body image all throughout my childhood and teen years.  I HATED my body, I was in a constant need to escape it.  I treated myself poorly, allowed others to treat me poorly, and I didn’t take care of my health what-so-ever.  As a teenager, I lived with my bachelor of a dad, so my idea of a “home cooked” meal was a can of Nally’s chili, or a frozen dinner warmed in the microwave… the only idea of “eating healthy” I knew of was crash-dieting, which I tried often, which looked more like harsh starvation of my body, and frustration when I didn’t look like Nicole Richie after my painful efforts.

Then, after years of sinking so deep into a darkness of not understanding my worth, and some devastating personal challenges, something miraculous happened when I got pregnant with my first baby.  I carried that baby to full-term, and without ever having done so before, successfully pushed her out of my body.  I did it! I gave birth to the most perfect baby girl.  Something happened to me as I sat in my living room rocking chair, that first time my milk came in – the milk that would sustain this angel baby girl of mine that my body just fully prepared for earthly life – I had a crashing wave of gratitude come over me for the healthy body I had, that I had treated so poorly, but had given me my life’s greatest joy anyway.  This is when I started viewing my body more as my friend rather than an inconvenient part of myself.

As Harlo grew, I wanted only what was best for her growing body.  I researched her nutrition diligently – how to make the healthiest possible baby food to feed her perfect little body.  One day as I was cooking for her, contentment filled my heart over nourishing her so well.  A whisper of a thought came to my mind, “Your body is just as perfect as hers, shouldn’t you be treating yours the same way?”  And that thought changed me.

I taught myself to cook.  I cut out preservatives and ate only real, from-scratch, fresh food.  I practiced gratitude for my body, and not only stopped talking negatively about my body (I strongly don’t want my children growing up in that environment), but I also stopped thinking negatively about my body.  When a negative thought came in, I would quickly catch it, and respond with a positive truth.  Rather than “I wish my thighs were skinnier.” I would replace it with, “I am so glad I have strong, capable legs that can chase after my little girls!”  At first I corrected myself a lot, and then after some time I didn’t have to correct my thinking as much, and even more time, not hardly ever.  A positive body image truly is something that can be learned, or perhaps it’s a bad body image that can be healed.  I am living proof.

After I had delivered Harlo and began my pregnancy with Stella, I knew my body could do this work.  I opted to deliver her naturally at home, because I knew my body was capable – and it was.  When my labor with Grae stalled, I knew my body could do this.  I trusted it fully, and again, it delivered.  The end of my pregnancy with Major, when my body had been stretched more than ever before, when I was at the end of labor pushing out the toughest baby I’d ever had to push out – I knew my body could do this.  Even during my miscarriage, when the doctors recommended a D&C and I opted out because I KNEW my body could do this.

As the years have gone on through my adult life, I have seen my body’s capabilities.  I have given birth on my bedroom floor THREE times, I have labored and stretched and been stronger than I would have ever imagined I could be.  I have withstood five sickening first trimesters, carried four babies to full term, my small frame feeling like it was busting at the seems, but still it pushed on cooking those babies well past “full term”.  As I suffered a miscarriage, I waited patiently while my body worked hard to hold onto the pregnancy it had created, even though the life inside of it hadn’t made it.  After that painful loss, I gifted my body with diligent yoga to help heal my mind, spirit, and my ever-capable body.  It was during that therapeutic yoga practice that I learned that my body was much more “athletic” than I had ever given it credit for, and how good I felt when I took care of it.

So you could say my body and I have been through a lot together, and it stands as the only thing that has stuck with me through every single life experience I’ve ever had.  This body of mine isn’t like my best friend, it is my best friend, and it’s a friend I care deeply for.  So after my body and I delivered this last baby, skin sagging, extra weight, muscles literally stretched to separation, 2 ribs permanently misplaced, and one tailbone that will never be the same from it’s time on the battlefield, it was an easy decision to take good care of the body that has taken such good care of me and my family.

And this is where my fitness story begins.

Suit : Target
Blanket : Wander Series
Photo : Sugar Rush Photo

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